I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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