You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
