This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
