she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I will pee on everything he values.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
