my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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