I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
