how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize