Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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