What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
