Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
