HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
