You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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