If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just send me my own nude
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize