with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
