coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
