what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
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