Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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