What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
