dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
