are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
