I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
