remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Girls should come with a carfax report
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
