At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
