you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
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