No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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