WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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