he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
