So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
