like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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