so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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