Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
