Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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