I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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