return my video game
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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