Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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