I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
