I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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