this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Im part way to drunk.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
