i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
