Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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