Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
