shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize