Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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