he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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