she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize