Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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