I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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