you guys were way drunker than both of me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
