Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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