I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
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I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
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I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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