My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize