I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
