i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
people are starting to question the shark bite story
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
