Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
