i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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