I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize