Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
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I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
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That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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