Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
how drunk are you?
Several
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
