plz talk dirty to me
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
