he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
